My Favorite Grocery Store
I abhor the marketing philosophy of Whole Foods. It has convinced me that 'organic' is Sumerian for '40% markup.' I don't want organic products, I don't need organic products. I want my produce free of parasites, aphids and insects, and therefore insist on the use of pesticides. I have never bought into the notion that eating a bug is healthier than eating some residual pesticide. I also do not believe that infestation can be averted by any natural deterrent to effectively kill, hypnotize, or otherwise convince insects with disuassive argument.
When I lived in Virginia, my house backed up to a forest. My father used to say 'Spiders are our friends, they control the insect population." I like spiders, and don't mind them in my house, but I never found that a spider contributed a single iota in the reduction of the insect population that overran my house. I'm sure it made an infinitesimal dent. So much for natural deterrent.
Whole Foods thinks otherwise. They have created an enormous industry using the brilliant but cynical marketing message that death fearing, guilt ridden, hippies can enjoy eternal life and save the planet if they pay the vig. Sarong enveloped, unshaven women float around the natural beeswax shampoo aisle in an alpha REM trance hoping to find the jar of royal jelly that will restore their wiry mane to the youthful luster it had back in the '72 Appalachian Rainbow Gathering. Vacuous men stroke their unkempt beards mulling over the sixteen varieties of milk, none of which come from an animal.
I have found natural food freaks, like vegetarians, come in two categories: unsubstantiated assumptive health theorists, and politically motivated consumers. The first group are people who believe every wild claim of the natural food and holistic health industry. Given no proof, record of unbiased clinical study, or FDA oversight, they will eat pills made out of herbs and other naturally occuring chemicals with the belief it is better for them than a tested drug. Real drugs, after all, are bad because drug manufacturers are greedy and the government is similarly evil. They believe, with little thought to the contrary, that foods marketed as 'healthy' are, indeed, healthy as they claim. And they will accept no contradictory opinion about the matter. This, despite the fact that numerous creators of herbal remedies have been fined or jailed for fraudulent and misleading claims, including the deadly result of wonderous fen-fen.
Even more insufferable is the political contingent. They vehemently adhere to the shrill, proselytizing, meat-is-murder doctrine. This intrusive cartel will demand that you not eat the things you want to, because you are either killing the planet, killing an animal, overharvesting fish, depleting the whole...jesus, I don't know, they just hate everything about you. They feel eating, well, anything will bring about the wholesale destruction of the human race and by extension, Earth itself.
...and yet, the Whole Foods in Glendale is my favorite grocery store. They have, by far, the most superlative seafood, meat, cheese and baked goods of any store in the city, including other Whole Foods. When I buy colossal shrimp, I ignore the feely-good sign declaring they are free-water shrimp, coddled and nurtured until they are netted. I don't bother with the chicken propaganda on how each and every hen is hand massaged and bathed by a licensed practitioner. I don't read the little placard next to the parmesian reggiano that details for me the halcyon life of Italian cows. I buy my f'ing food and get the hell out.
I also ignore 70% of the store's offerings. I have no use for brown anything. I'm not sure when brown became synonymous with healthy, but every flipping product is brown. Brown rice, brown grain, brown eggs...everything is brown except potatoes. They're purple, red and white!
They have an extensive offering of seafood, fresh fillets glistening from the halogen pinlights. Halibut, Scottish salmon, tilapia, several kinds of pacific oysters, Australian lobster tail, Indian candy are just a few adorning the case. The quality is on par with Santa Monica Seafood. They even have 6oz packaged crabmeat. Last week, I bought steamed jumbo male blue crab. You know how much I love blue crab!
Furthermore, I can buy goat for stewing. They even have a steady supply of buffalo steaks and ground meat. They have frozed ostrich meat, which is a fantastic light red meat. They have a cheese department that rivals many cheese stores. I truly love many of the specialty items they carry, and they all fall under the 'perishable' category. There is not one item except truffle oil, that I have bought off the shelf there. I buy nothing packaged, I buy no soy products.
As much as I hate to admit it, this ONE Whole Foods has my shopping dollar. It is not close either, it takes about 20 minutes to get there, but I am vehemently in favor of buying fresh food every day. Tonight, I will go over and get food, since I am entertaining tomorrow. I will let you know what I bought and what I made at that time. Until then, patronize Whole Foods for the right reason: top quality food. Screw the politics.
When I lived in Virginia, my house backed up to a forest. My father used to say 'Spiders are our friends, they control the insect population." I like spiders, and don't mind them in my house, but I never found that a spider contributed a single iota in the reduction of the insect population that overran my house. I'm sure it made an infinitesimal dent. So much for natural deterrent.
Whole Foods thinks otherwise. They have created an enormous industry using the brilliant but cynical marketing message that death fearing, guilt ridden, hippies can enjoy eternal life and save the planet if they pay the vig. Sarong enveloped, unshaven women float around the natural beeswax shampoo aisle in an alpha REM trance hoping to find the jar of royal jelly that will restore their wiry mane to the youthful luster it had back in the '72 Appalachian Rainbow Gathering. Vacuous men stroke their unkempt beards mulling over the sixteen varieties of milk, none of which come from an animal.
I have found natural food freaks, like vegetarians, come in two categories: unsubstantiated assumptive health theorists, and politically motivated consumers. The first group are people who believe every wild claim of the natural food and holistic health industry. Given no proof, record of unbiased clinical study, or FDA oversight, they will eat pills made out of herbs and other naturally occuring chemicals with the belief it is better for them than a tested drug. Real drugs, after all, are bad because drug manufacturers are greedy and the government is similarly evil. They believe, with little thought to the contrary, that foods marketed as 'healthy' are, indeed, healthy as they claim. And they will accept no contradictory opinion about the matter. This, despite the fact that numerous creators of herbal remedies have been fined or jailed for fraudulent and misleading claims, including the deadly result of wonderous fen-fen.
Even more insufferable is the political contingent. They vehemently adhere to the shrill, proselytizing, meat-is-murder doctrine. This intrusive cartel will demand that you not eat the things you want to, because you are either killing the planet, killing an animal, overharvesting fish, depleting the whole...jesus, I don't know, they just hate everything about you. They feel eating, well, anything will bring about the wholesale destruction of the human race and by extension, Earth itself.
...and yet, the Whole Foods in Glendale is my favorite grocery store. They have, by far, the most superlative seafood, meat, cheese and baked goods of any store in the city, including other Whole Foods. When I buy colossal shrimp, I ignore the feely-good sign declaring they are free-water shrimp, coddled and nurtured until they are netted. I don't bother with the chicken propaganda on how each and every hen is hand massaged and bathed by a licensed practitioner. I don't read the little placard next to the parmesian reggiano that details for me the halcyon life of Italian cows. I buy my f'ing food and get the hell out.
I also ignore 70% of the store's offerings. I have no use for brown anything. I'm not sure when brown became synonymous with healthy, but every flipping product is brown. Brown rice, brown grain, brown eggs...everything is brown except potatoes. They're purple, red and white!
They have an extensive offering of seafood, fresh fillets glistening from the halogen pinlights. Halibut, Scottish salmon, tilapia, several kinds of pacific oysters, Australian lobster tail, Indian candy are just a few adorning the case. The quality is on par with Santa Monica Seafood. They even have 6oz packaged crabmeat. Last week, I bought steamed jumbo male blue crab. You know how much I love blue crab!
Furthermore, I can buy goat for stewing. They even have a steady supply of buffalo steaks and ground meat. They have frozed ostrich meat, which is a fantastic light red meat. They have a cheese department that rivals many cheese stores. I truly love many of the specialty items they carry, and they all fall under the 'perishable' category. There is not one item except truffle oil, that I have bought off the shelf there. I buy nothing packaged, I buy no soy products.
As much as I hate to admit it, this ONE Whole Foods has my shopping dollar. It is not close either, it takes about 20 minutes to get there, but I am vehemently in favor of buying fresh food every day. Tonight, I will go over and get food, since I am entertaining tomorrow. I will let you know what I bought and what I made at that time. Until then, patronize Whole Foods for the right reason: top quality food. Screw the politics.
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