Sell This House
My revisionist historical recount of taping "Sell This House" at our property.
As most of you don't know, since this is a food related blog, we are selling our house, but it hasn't moved quickly since August. No surprise. Prices are exhorbitant and people are jittery about a fictional bubble that will combust, leaving home prices descimated in a vast holocaust of precipitous devaluation. That's where shows like Sell This House come in. They make improvements and re-stage your house to help sell it, giving it a more desirable look and feel to the buying public. They taped over three days starting on Friday.
Friday, December 2:
It was about 8:50, and I was particularly startled, even knowing they would have a punctual arrival at 9. Having just stepped out of the shower and shaved, I was walking through my living room with toilet paper on my cuts when the production crew shows up. One by one, the procession filed through my front door, like an army of ants streaming in to conquer with all manner of video recording equipment, audio mixing boards, cameras, lighting towers…but the first thing I noticed they offloaded was bottled water. I love LA.
They were very cordial and friendly, hurrying to get set up and everything firmly established. I was adjunct at this moment, really only getting in the way as I stumbled through a den of cables, obstacles of cases, boxes of tapes, lighting apparati, everything but major surgical instrumentation.
After showing them around for a few minutes (which was superfluous, since they had already seen interior shots I sent them a couple of weeks ago), I had to vacate for a few minutes so they could do an unfettered tour and taping of the house. This is where I am right now, outside, writing down these impressions on the motor of my automatic driveway gate. It is starting to sprinkle.
Fast Forward
It is now two days later, and I am going to recap what happened. It was a seriously busy weekend, and I didn’t have much of a chance to write or think or pretty much anything but the job(s) at hand. The taping and housework wasn’t that bad at all, but I had to do a phone system upgrade at work, so that took a certain amount of time. Neither job, in and of itself, was vexing or Herculean, but combined they were taxing. There is nothing interesting about the phone upgrade, so I’ll focus mainly on the fun and tribulations of the show.
In all honesty, it was an easy, congenial process. The crew:
Lee, Executive Producer, in the most laid back fashion
Susan, Producer, facilitator, all around cool chick and nice person - with fascinating stories about the inner mechanics of the Playboy mansion.
Troy, Cameraman/ surrogate talent
Esther, Camerawoman, sage counselor
Nick, Audio technician and calming influence
Christine (I hope I have her name right, sorry if I don’t), Producer, facilitator and caterer
The talent:
Tanya, Host
Roger, Designer and Host
It’s funny to see the dynamic when a group of people are hanging around in someone else's house. Although the crew switches out people depending on who is available to travel, the core constituents remain the same. Of course, we're comfortable in our own house, there's just a crew working in and on it. It must be surreal for them, even after doing this for a few years, because I go to a company building for my work, not stay the majority of the day in someone else's living space for three days, and trying to make myself comfortable there.
In this case, choosing our house was mutually beneficial. Those local to LA got a break from lugging their equipment and spending four days in Moosejaw, Saskachewan. We didn't require a huge budget either, because most of the house is in good condition (at least, structurally...just cluttered). And of course, we get advice from an expert designer and residual promotion from the show. A certain percentage of viewers will be in LA, and may get interested.
Much of Friday was setting up cameras for the initial open house, where they get people's reactions to the space. It should be no shock to anyone reading this that they are instructed to over-dramaticize what they don't like about the house. Honestly, the back rooms were all shitty, which is why I couldn't wait to have someone re-design them. Their reactions, and the obvious observation of the crew and Roger, were that we sunk all our efforts into the living room and foyer, and completely neglected everything else. True, true.
We taped the intro and a quick tour with Tanya, and later reacted to the comments about the house. Also instructed not to make up anything, but talk honestly about how we felt about the comments, increased drama implied. So I had some fun with being irritated and put off by what these people are saying about our 'precious house'. The honest truth is, we're selling it, so I couldn't have loved it that much.
I've worked in television and radio before, so none of this was new to me, but Nayan was a bit nervous about the whole process. She handled it pretty well, and Chris had a blast cutting up on and off camera. I did the bulk of talking because if you know me, it would be more than obvious I am the one to handle that job. I've got no problem yammering on about shit. In fact, I think they had to try very hard to pare down what I was saying, because left unchecked, I would give a lengthy soliloqy.
Saturday, I was working on the phones, but got back home in time to see the progress. Nayan and Chris had to fly without me, and I chipped in between watching USC destroy UCLA. I care about neither team. Saturday wrapped up around four, and the only other thing we had to accomplish was move some furniture into another room.
Sunday, the cast and crew arrived promptly at 9. We taped some comments about the one room, and started work on the master bedroom. We finished up, taped the conclusion and left for the final open house. We didn't really have to leave, but it was good to get out of the house for an hour or two.
This, I know, has been a lengthy and probably boring recount of what happened. I know you are waiting to hear the prurient details of what a bitch Tanya is, or how Roger knocked over an expensive statue and refused to pay for it, or a camera guy putting a camera through our window. Fortunately, nothing like that happened. They were very professional and genuinely nice and courteous. They also took pride in their work on and off camera, and the job they did on the house. Sure, there's some touchup paint here and there, but nothing major. Did we discuss salacious things when the camera was off? Yeah, there was one conversation that spilled over to a couple of days involving Playboy, but what else would you expect from Playboy. Seriously.
Well, I have to tie this into food, or this article would be a complete non sequitor. Although the crew purchased quite a buffet, I wanted to entertain, so I made a few dishes for Sunday lunch. Two quiches, a plate of mini crab cakes with chipotle remoulade, and orange crock pot pork. I've previously given my recipes for crab cakes and orange pork. Personally, I felt the crab cakes were a bit salty, the pork was still a bit tough and the quiche wasn't nearly salted enough and a bit cold. Everyone said they liked it, but I will always be my own worst critic.
Quiche is something I haven't yet discussed, so quickly:
4 eggs
cup of cream
onion
bacon
gruyere
pie crusts
salt & pepper
nutmeg
Beat the eggs and cream together to form a thick base. Finely chop 1/4 onion and add it to the bowl. Cook off and crisp 5 bacon strips. Crumble into the mix. Shred 1 cup gruyere and add to the mix. Salt and pepper to taste (go on, it's only samonella), add pinch of nutmeg. Pour all into a pie shell and bake at 375 for 25 minutes. It is done when a knife comes out try and the top is slightly browned. Let stand for 5 minutes.
Well, that about wraps it up. I have some pictures at home I'll post here, but only the flattering ones. We had a great time and it wasn't as backbreaking as I thought it would be. I had visions of an insensitive crew stampeding throughout my house, setting us up on camera as the rube family from the backwaters of Hell, leaving flotsam and destruction in their wake. In fact, it was professional, easy, and the crew really helped out on performing the majority of the work, my role was minimal. The show is tentatively expected to air around February, so I'll give exact dates when I find out.
As most of you don't know, since this is a food related blog, we are selling our house, but it hasn't moved quickly since August. No surprise. Prices are exhorbitant and people are jittery about a fictional bubble that will combust, leaving home prices descimated in a vast holocaust of precipitous devaluation. That's where shows like Sell This House come in. They make improvements and re-stage your house to help sell it, giving it a more desirable look and feel to the buying public. They taped over three days starting on Friday.
Friday, December 2:
It was about 8:50, and I was particularly startled, even knowing they would have a punctual arrival at 9. Having just stepped out of the shower and shaved, I was walking through my living room with toilet paper on my cuts when the production crew shows up. One by one, the procession filed through my front door, like an army of ants streaming in to conquer with all manner of video recording equipment, audio mixing boards, cameras, lighting towers…but the first thing I noticed they offloaded was bottled water. I love LA.
They were very cordial and friendly, hurrying to get set up and everything firmly established. I was adjunct at this moment, really only getting in the way as I stumbled through a den of cables, obstacles of cases, boxes of tapes, lighting apparati, everything but major surgical instrumentation.
After showing them around for a few minutes (which was superfluous, since they had already seen interior shots I sent them a couple of weeks ago), I had to vacate for a few minutes so they could do an unfettered tour and taping of the house. This is where I am right now, outside, writing down these impressions on the motor of my automatic driveway gate. It is starting to sprinkle.
Fast Forward
It is now two days later, and I am going to recap what happened. It was a seriously busy weekend, and I didn’t have much of a chance to write or think or pretty much anything but the job(s) at hand. The taping and housework wasn’t that bad at all, but I had to do a phone system upgrade at work, so that took a certain amount of time. Neither job, in and of itself, was vexing or Herculean, but combined they were taxing. There is nothing interesting about the phone upgrade, so I’ll focus mainly on the fun and tribulations of the show.
In all honesty, it was an easy, congenial process. The crew:
Lee, Executive Producer, in the most laid back fashion
Susan, Producer, facilitator, all around cool chick and nice person - with fascinating stories about the inner mechanics of the Playboy mansion.
Troy, Cameraman/ surrogate talent
Esther, Camerawoman, sage counselor
Nick, Audio technician and calming influence
Christine (I hope I have her name right, sorry if I don’t), Producer, facilitator and caterer
The talent:
Tanya, Host
Roger, Designer and Host
It’s funny to see the dynamic when a group of people are hanging around in someone else's house. Although the crew switches out people depending on who is available to travel, the core constituents remain the same. Of course, we're comfortable in our own house, there's just a crew working in and on it. It must be surreal for them, even after doing this for a few years, because I go to a company building for my work, not stay the majority of the day in someone else's living space for three days, and trying to make myself comfortable there.
In this case, choosing our house was mutually beneficial. Those local to LA got a break from lugging their equipment and spending four days in Moosejaw, Saskachewan. We didn't require a huge budget either, because most of the house is in good condition (at least, structurally...just cluttered). And of course, we get advice from an expert designer and residual promotion from the show. A certain percentage of viewers will be in LA, and may get interested.
Much of Friday was setting up cameras for the initial open house, where they get people's reactions to the space. It should be no shock to anyone reading this that they are instructed to over-dramaticize what they don't like about the house. Honestly, the back rooms were all shitty, which is why I couldn't wait to have someone re-design them. Their reactions, and the obvious observation of the crew and Roger, were that we sunk all our efforts into the living room and foyer, and completely neglected everything else. True, true.
We taped the intro and a quick tour with Tanya, and later reacted to the comments about the house. Also instructed not to make up anything, but talk honestly about how we felt about the comments, increased drama implied. So I had some fun with being irritated and put off by what these people are saying about our 'precious house'. The honest truth is, we're selling it, so I couldn't have loved it that much.
I've worked in television and radio before, so none of this was new to me, but Nayan was a bit nervous about the whole process. She handled it pretty well, and Chris had a blast cutting up on and off camera. I did the bulk of talking because if you know me, it would be more than obvious I am the one to handle that job. I've got no problem yammering on about shit. In fact, I think they had to try very hard to pare down what I was saying, because left unchecked, I would give a lengthy soliloqy.
Saturday, I was working on the phones, but got back home in time to see the progress. Nayan and Chris had to fly without me, and I chipped in between watching USC destroy UCLA. I care about neither team. Saturday wrapped up around four, and the only other thing we had to accomplish was move some furniture into another room.
Sunday, the cast and crew arrived promptly at 9. We taped some comments about the one room, and started work on the master bedroom. We finished up, taped the conclusion and left for the final open house. We didn't really have to leave, but it was good to get out of the house for an hour or two.
This, I know, has been a lengthy and probably boring recount of what happened. I know you are waiting to hear the prurient details of what a bitch Tanya is, or how Roger knocked over an expensive statue and refused to pay for it, or a camera guy putting a camera through our window. Fortunately, nothing like that happened. They were very professional and genuinely nice and courteous. They also took pride in their work on and off camera, and the job they did on the house. Sure, there's some touchup paint here and there, but nothing major. Did we discuss salacious things when the camera was off? Yeah, there was one conversation that spilled over to a couple of days involving Playboy, but what else would you expect from Playboy. Seriously.
Well, I have to tie this into food, or this article would be a complete non sequitor. Although the crew purchased quite a buffet, I wanted to entertain, so I made a few dishes for Sunday lunch. Two quiches, a plate of mini crab cakes with chipotle remoulade, and orange crock pot pork. I've previously given my recipes for crab cakes and orange pork. Personally, I felt the crab cakes were a bit salty, the pork was still a bit tough and the quiche wasn't nearly salted enough and a bit cold. Everyone said they liked it, but I will always be my own worst critic.
Quiche is something I haven't yet discussed, so quickly:
4 eggs
cup of cream
onion
bacon
gruyere
pie crusts
salt & pepper
nutmeg
Beat the eggs and cream together to form a thick base. Finely chop 1/4 onion and add it to the bowl. Cook off and crisp 5 bacon strips. Crumble into the mix. Shred 1 cup gruyere and add to the mix. Salt and pepper to taste (go on, it's only samonella), add pinch of nutmeg. Pour all into a pie shell and bake at 375 for 25 minutes. It is done when a knife comes out try and the top is slightly browned. Let stand for 5 minutes.
Well, that about wraps it up. I have some pictures at home I'll post here, but only the flattering ones. We had a great time and it wasn't as backbreaking as I thought it would be. I had visions of an insensitive crew stampeding throughout my house, setting us up on camera as the rube family from the backwaters of Hell, leaving flotsam and destruction in their wake. In fact, it was professional, easy, and the crew really helped out on performing the majority of the work, my role was minimal. The show is tentatively expected to air around February, so I'll give exact dates when I find out.
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