Vege...tarian Lasagna?

Did you say vegetarian? RUN TO THE HILLS!!!!

Well, no, not every food that has the absence of meat is bad. Strictly speaking, it is vegetarian. The primary fallacy about vegetarian is that it's all healthy. That is complete bullshit. Vegetarian food is usually loaded with carbs and dairy products to take your mind off the lack of meat or protein.

I made a kick-ass vegetarian lasagna last night, and who would have thought Italian food was so copasetic to the vegetarian lifestyle? When you think about it, Southern Italian food has many dishes that contain no meat: eggplant parmesan, spaghetti with red sauce, fettucini alfredo, the list goes on.

So, don't get scared or think I'm wussified 'cause I made something called vegetarian. A friend did me a favor, and she's a vegetarian. As I made it, I was thinking, this is really a normal lasagna, I just left out the ground beef.

It's all marketing people.

I wish, I truly wish I could give you exact recipes, but my lack of detail orientation coupled with ADHD makes that impossible. Here are my approximated ingredients:

1 whole bag of spinach leaves. People, and I use that term loosely, this is the only bag leaf besides weed that I would buy. It saves a lot of time having to wash, rinse, drain, cut, repeat. Bag spinach is ready to wilt, right out of the bag.

2 handfulls of sliced criminis
1 chunk of butter for sauteeing purposes
1 box of lasagna.

Here's my theory on how to portion out the sheets of lasagna. If you don't par-boil your noodle, you can use exactly what you need because you'll assemble the lasagna with dry noodle. We'll get to that in a second. If you boil you (par) boil your noodles first, then just make the whole box, since its hard to approximate how many sheets you'll use. Better safe than sorry.

1 jar of spaghetti sauce, or make it your damn self.
1/2 lb of cottage cheese. I find it creamer and richer than ricotta.
1 whole cream cheese brick
salt 'n' peppa
1 block of mozzarella
2 eggs
1 package crumbled feta

First things first. Sautee your spinach and sliced criminis and set aside. 1 whole bag of spinach wilts down to almost nothing.

In a separate bowl, mix the eggs, cheeses, salt and shredded mozzarella. Shred it yourself from the brick. Mix it all into a nice mesh.

Once cooled and drained, you can add the spinach and mushrooms.

Now you're ready to assemble and bake. So here's my dissertation on lasagna noodles:

You don't have to par boil the noodles if you have enough liquid in the lasagna. This lasagna tends to be a bit drier, so for this recipe you might want to par boil them. If you bake a lasagna that uses ricotta, more spaghetti sauce or more watery ingredients, the noodles will cook and soften during baking.

My first lasagna did come out a bit too al really dente. The next one I made by par boiling the noodles.

Always sauce the bottom of the pyrex, regardless. Lay down your noodles, interlocking the wavy parts, if you like. Slater the cheese mixture and layer again. For this recipe I downplay the red sauce, since I'm trying to highlight the spinach/feta combination.

Bake for 40 minutes at 375. Keep covered the first 25 and uncover the last 15 for browning. Remove from the oven with your bare hands and immediately plant your face in the boiling mixture.

Legal Disclaimer: Removing pyrex from a hot oven with your bare hands and dunking your face into molten pasta is a good remedy for excema.

2nd Legal Disclaimer: Steve Wasser is neither a medical doctor or a lawyer, so these legal disclaimers nor medical advice have no value. Steve shall be held harmless if you follow his stupid suggestions, although you won't be able to send a complaint email since you'll have no skin on your hands.