Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Gastro Now A Member of Mobile Broadcast Network



This is an interesting service, not sure what the future has in store, but we are now part of the Mobile Broadcasting Network/UpSnap. What is that you ask? It is the highly efficient way of listening to our podcast on your cell phone.

Like I said, in my mind, the jury might be out on how many people are willing to content on their cell phones, but its worth a shot. Who knows, could be the next Rubick's Cube. If you are so inclined, follow the link above and follow the instructions on their site. I think this technology could catch on as the convergence of entertainment appliance and communication devices becomes inseparable.

Saturday, May 27, 2006

Drinker's Paradise

This is a sign just outside of Malibu Sport Fishing Peer.



I love the representation of an alcoholic beverage as a martini glass. Look, they even garnished it with an olive, how considerate! A more accurate depiction would be a broken Corona bottle, but this is clever enough.

iTunes Dragging Their Feet

The Playing With Fire feed is not posted in iTunes yet, those pot smoking hippies up north are taking their sweet time getting it live. You can still get it by going directly here. Look for a new Gastro/Playing With Fire tomorrow! The show covers BBQ and Father's Day

Thursday, May 25, 2006

The Moment You've All Been Waiting For



Playing With Fire is now a podcast!

What? Dude, you already have a podcast called Gastrologica!

Right, but Playing Wtih Fire is the raw, vulgar version with none of the offensive, sick, antisocial themes removed. The first uncut show will be posted in the next day or so. The history will not go all the way back, as I usually delete the original .wav files, but I have the last two episodes, and all the upcoming episodes will now be published twice: Clean for Gastrologica, Dirty for Playing With Fire.

You can find Playing With Fire on iTunes in the Comedy category, or you can go to here to download episodes or here to subscribe via rss.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Taco Town Nightmare Actualized

Kentucky Frid [sic] Chicken has created the Taco Town garbage bag of mess.



"I would like a fried chicken."

"Fried Chicken would be cool..but I'm tired of Fried chicken."

"Chop it up and throw it in a bowl."

"Sounds sexy. I'm all wet."

"Dump mashed potatoes on it and compress."

"Yes, compress..."

"Smear teryaki all over it and add peas."

"Hell yeah..peas."

"peas"

"oh god, peas."

"Like I said, peas."

"I know you said peas."

"I know you know. I was just saying peas, for crying out loud. To set the mood"

"I like the mood peas set."---

"No you dont. You don't like peas at all. I'm sick of your lies"

"No, I really like...

"-"BULLSHIT. YOU FUCKING HATE PEAS. I'M SO TIRED OF YOUR HYPOCRACY!"

"Alright you piece of crap, I like peas. I LOVE peas. I've been sleeping with peas the last..."

"You wanna know something? I know all about you and peas. I'm gay. Does that surprise you? Sleep with peas, and I'll sleep with Esperaldo. Can we just get back to the bowl."

"What bowl?"

"The Bowl, you idiot!"

"The thing bowl you were talking about?"

"Yes, the thing bowl, why?"

"I'm not saying anything, I'm just saying Thing Bowl."

"Thing Bowl of what?"

"What bowl? Why?"

"I know it's a fucking thing bowl, I want to know what the hell is in it!"

"I'm tired of your shit, you're making no sense."

"I'm making all the sense I need to make. Just enough to establish the bowl thing."

"The 'bowl thing.' Oh that's rich."

"Get off my back"

"I'll be happy to get off you're back, if you get off mine. I'm so tired...."

"What?"

"So tired of you're snotty attitude. everyone can hear us. look up. someone is reading all this"

"Fine, ok. Look, we were talking about KFC."

"Oh, those assholes?"

"Yeah, the bowl. Remember? They have some wierd layered shit."

"I remember that. A little bit ago, right? Um, so they had frid chickem and some shit...uh...mased [sic] potatoes"

"Right, and we got on some pea shit."

"The pea shit, right."

"Right. And I was thinking of thorwing [sic] cheese and and bacon and hog side and slab and.."

"Oh my god! You're not kidding! The Bowl Thing is horrendous. I just took a peek on the website!"

"Fucking-A right."

"But there's no peas."

"Can we get off the peas?"

"Fine, I see corn, chicken nuggets..."

"Gravy, cheese..."

"Dude, this is like that Taco Town skit"

"No kidding, I want mine with bacon and pretzels."

"I got a question."

"What's that?"

"How are they 'Famous Bowls', they just came out."

"I think it's just a name, like 'Fancy Ketsup'"

"Oh right, Fancy Ketsup ain't fancy and it's barely ketsup."

"Yeah, it's just a brand name."

"Cool, lets go grab a bowl of this mess."

Gastrologica Show

Here's a recap of the current Gastrologica: Plates of Fury and Days of Squandered Dignity.

Dan opens the show with a racist letter from a member who was shocked and dismayed that Mexican food was being served on Cinco de Mayo. The member thought the kitchen staff was cowtowing to the 'PC Crowd', instead of taking it for what it was: a Cinco de Mayo celebration in the City of Los Angeles. In one poorly worded effort, this guy would have transformed the place into the Kalabasas Kountry Klub. Tune in to hear the letter, and get our reaction.

The next segment was about the craft of plating, and using the plate as your canvas. We discuss proper plating techniques, the five elements of a plate, and how to arrange accordingly.

Since we were recording outside, the place sounded like a warzone with all the jets, helicopters and police whizzing by and loligagging overhead.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Deathmatch: Cole's PE Buffet vs. Philippe's



The greatest rivalry since Pat's and Geno's cheesteaks in Philly is the fistfight between Cole's PE Buffet and Philippe's. Each claim to be the inventor of the French Dip. What is not in dispute is the city in which it was invented: Los Angeles. Everything else becomes fuzzy after that.

Cole's PE Buffet is the oldest continually running restaurant in Los Angeles, established in 1908. Cole's claims to have created the french dip sandwich sometime around it's founding.

Philippe's Original was also established in 1908, and claims to have invented the sandwich in 1918.

So, with neither historically resolved to anyone's satisfaction, and that nothing is ever incredibly impactful to the population of LA, you are free to believe with whomever you side.

The two restaurants are as distinctly different as Mexican Wrestling is from cardiovascular surgery. Cole's is a downhome bar and restaurant occupying a dank (read: historical) space under the old transit terminal. It has a loyal following of ancient salty dogs that still treat this place as their neighborhood bar, although no human being willingly lives in that part of town.

Philippes is just on the outskirts of downtown, near Union Station and Olvera St. It is easily the more popular of the two owing to its reputation, ease of parking, and proximity to The Olvera Tourist Trap.



I only have pictures from Philippes and I have to say Philippes edges out Cole's for quality of meat, but Cole's slips ahead of them in terms of flavor. Essentially, the quality of both sandwiches are similar, so on any given day it comes down to minute details.



However, there is a slight tussle between the two, in a pro-con way. Pro for Cole's is personable service and ordering. It is set up old-style cafeteria, so you take a tray and slide it down the rails and tell the guy what you want as you proceed down the line. Philippes corrals everyone in several different undefined groups heretofore referred to as "lines," making for a very confusing, very long wait for your food.



It's time to update, Philippes. I understand proprietors of historical landmarks want to keep everything exactly as it was, but let's face it, you have indoor plumbing, you have electricity and satellite, put in some rails to define the lines better.

Also, it wouldn't kill both establishments to give us some jus upon request. The dip and double-dip are nice options, but if I want a cup of jus, just give it to me. The adherence to ancient rules and being jus nazis is silly.

Overall, Cole's has all the charm, hands down. I get a greater sense of history, especially since the owner took us for a tour when he saw we had some interest in the place. It is still a family run business, and the same family, in fact. There are some great stained glass fixtures in a few unused back rooms that really captured the feel of what it might have been like.

Give both a shot, it is really best among equals, but if you can find parking close to Cole's, try that first. Less crowded, more variety and seemingly more history.

Monday, May 22, 2006

Grand Royal Discovery



No, I'm not drifing away from the central theme of Playing With Fire, but occassionally I'm going to post non-food related items (trust me, there's like five articles in the works right now). But these short blurbs let me post something for your reading enjoyment amid the carnival of disaster that has been taking place where I work (preventing me from posting anyting in a timely manner the last week or so).

The bleak door you see in front of you is the only artifact left of G-Son Studios in Atwater Village. I live only two miles from this sacred edifice, never realizing it was the headquarters of Grand Royal, where the Beastie Boys recorded most all of their works.

Living in LA, a studio is as common as a traffic light, but most of us probably assumed they recorded in New York, and if they did produce anything in LA, the last place you would think to look is Atwater Village. Surprise!

Although no longer in business, this stands as a reminder that some great things happened behind this door, 3218 1/2 Glendale Boulevard.

Saturday, May 20, 2006

Da Chickenhead

Da Chickenhead

1/2 bottle uv Blak
2 oz uv vodka
1 oz uv amaretto

Three uv these an da skank ho be a chickenhead

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Happy Great Living!!!!!

Two radical new products have hit the shelves, blazing taste fury.



Blak, the new energy drink by Coke, calls itself a fusion drink. This usually means a truckload of corn syrup, three football fields of caffeine and a dank flavoring to hide the disgusting amalgam of caffeine and corn syrup.

Blak is actually good. It is a cross between slightly flavored coke and coffee. I picked up a bottle at Mitsuwa, my local Japanese grocery store. It did hit me with a good kick, and it was pleasant to drink. I see this a big seller.

Party Time!

Yeah, it's Party Time in the Wasser household! Break open some saki bottles!



Yee Hah! It's like a party in your mouth and everybody's coming!



Yeah, man! Crank up some Zeppelin and fire up a doob! We're gonna bring the house down.

Leave it to the Japanese to engineer a way to make a snack out of my favorite thing the whole world. Crabs.



This is a plastic bag full of roasted tiny crabs, glazed with a salty-sweet sesame crust. Definitely an acquired taste, but I am enthralled and fascinated by them. Hey, you know what makes Asian snacks so irresistable? MSG. It's taboo here, but all the snacks I bought had MSG in them. I didn't palpatate, I didn't faint, so I figure I'll live.

Sunday, May 14, 2006

Chebureki: The Georgian Empanada



This is an article from my friend Oksana. She wanted to bring the joy of chebureki to my reading audience, and I agree. They look awesome, and taste even better. Although she creates culinary art in the Russian-Georgian-Ukranian tradition, her primary art can be found at her website. Check it out, and yes, she does commissions.

Chebureki (plural from “cheburek”), is a traditional dish from the country of Georgia.

This recipe will leave your kitchen a mess, but the taste is worth it. This (as well as pelmeni) is also a fun rainy day family activity, or you may invite unsuspecting guest for a serving of a piping-hot pile of chebureki, leaving out the part about audience participation in the making process. Once you figure it out, it goes much easier and the method appears far less frightening.

Dough

3 1/3 cups all-purpose flour
1 cup water
¼ cup milk
1 egg
1 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons olive or vegetable oil

Combine the water, milk, oil and salt. Bring to a boil. Immediately take off the heat, add in ½ cup of flower, blending thoroughly and breaking all the lumps Let the mixture cool off.

Gradually add the remaining flour and egg, kneading for a few minutes, until the dough is even, soft, and doesn’t stick to your hands. If it continues to stick, add a little more flour.

Place in a covered bowl and let the dough rest for about an hour in the fridge, during the hour take out once and knead again for 1 minute – just to mix.

Filling

About 3 cups ground lamb
½ cup chopped cilantro (may be substituted with parsley, but it’s more Georgian with cilantro)
3 finely minced garlic cloves (or more, depending on your garlic preference)
salt, black and red pepper to taste,
1 teaspoon (or to taste) of hot sauce
½ cup water

Mix together in a bowl and place to the side.

Method

Cut dough into portions about the size of a large walnut. Roll evenly on floured surface into a round “tortilla” about 7” diameter and 1 mm (0.03”) thin. The dough must have no cuts, stretches, or gaps in it.

Place about 2 full tablespoons of filling on one side of the circle (do not let the meat touch the edges, or they will not stick together), fold the other half of the circle over to form a “half-moon” shape, and pinch the edges firmly together.
Make sure you close the cheburek tightly and hermetically, and don’t leave too much air in it.

For “special effect”, press the fork lightly over the length of the pinched edge to form crimping ridges (this is totally unnecessary).

Once assembled, place on a floured surface until you’re ready to cook.

Cooking

Pour about an inch and a half of vegetable oil into a deep large frying pan or wok, heat through. Reduce heat to medium. Carefully place into oil 3-4 chebureki (depending on the size of your pan), making sure not to overcrowd the pan.

Fry about 4 - 5 minutes on each side (be very careful turning them), until golden-brown color.

Let rest on the serving plate for a few minutes. They are VERY hot. Avoid the temptation.

Serve with light salad as a side dish, and yogurt-cucumber dipping sauce. In a blender make a “smoothie” of 1 plain yogurt, ½ cup peeled chopped cucumber, 1 chopped garlic clove, 2/3 cup chopped cilantro, ½ cup chopped fresh mint, 1 tbsp olive oil and salt/pepper to taste.

Friday, May 12, 2006

Vanilla Cream and Mango Crab Tower



Every good chef steals his material, and I've stolen this concept from Dan who, in turn, stole it from someone else. He does an ahi tower, and this is a distinct enough evolution that it won't trample on his idea.

The new saucing trend among haute seafood is pairing vanilla with lobster. Although the lobster mitts at French Laundry had no vanilla (that I know of) in the celeriac, it definitely had a faint whisp of vanilla, undoubtebly projected from my mind. I decided to use this application to make a semi-sweet cream reduction and pair that with backfin lump crab. You need to use a sweet crab such as backfin blue lump, king crab, snow crab or dungeness. You can find pre-picked backfin at Whole Foods in a 9 oz. foil pouch called Star Crab. It is quite good, and I've never run across a significant shell.

Ingredients:

1/2 small carton of heavy whipping cream
pinch of salt
backfin lump crab meat. Don't bother with this recipe if you can't get it.
1 teaspoon sugar
1 dash of nutmeg
2 dashes of celery seed
3-4 drops of real vanilla extract
six wonton wrappers (not wutang rappers)
2 tablespoons diced mango

Prepare the cream reduction by mixing the cream, salt, sugar, celery seed, nutmeg and vanilla in a little sauce pan and simmer on low, stirring often.

While that is reducing (reduce by half, until you get a solid nappe), cut the wontons with a cookie cutter or round lid. Fry lightly until crisp, and drain.

The crab meat should already be cooked. Prepare by placing a dallop of the cream on the plate, then an ounce or two of crab. Sprinkle on some mango dice and cap with a wonton crisp. Repeat as tall as you'd like, three layers is perfect.

Sauce on top and sprinkle mango as garnish, you can even throw on a mint or basil leaf on the side or top the tower with microgreens or frisee for a nice contrast in color.

The tastes and textures paired exquisitely. The contrast of the crispy wonton provided structure to the sweet overtones. Crab was invented to pair perfectly with the tropical influences of the mango and vanilla. I was amazed at the outcome, not only the fantastic, bold flavor, but the ease of creation.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

GoogleCrack

Yeah, I was trying it for about an hour and the best one I came up with was two results, one a wordlist and one a word trivia site (only one legit site, though). I did this without advanced searches or filters.

pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis surry

There you go.

A Spot In History

Playing With Fire, a production of Gastrologica Media has now assumed its role in history. We are a Google Wack. Google Wacks are a very rare and precious commodity if you find one. It is the act of throwing two words into the Google search box without quotes, and returning one -and only one- result.

Now, of course, due to the wild expansion of Google, it's not a straightforward as it might sound. A long time ago the rules were as I stated above, but there are a few caveats nowadays. First, because of the proliferation of wordlists and spam sites, it is nearly impossible to get a bona fide Google Wack. Secondly, you have to perform the search with a few filter parameters to only look at certain elements.

As such, if you search using Google Advanced search using this string:

allintext: fustigated caramelized -txt -filetype:d

It would result in only four responses. Three are wordlists, and there we are at the top: Gastrologica.

Ok, so it's not exactly a cut and dry Google Wack, but its about as close as you're going to get because of all the creepy shenanegans people do with wordlists and spam.

Many thanks to Jeff (no, another Jeff, actually) for bringing this to our attention, and taking the time to shoot us an email.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Gastrologica Cioppino Show



I figured it would be prudent to start posting information about each week's episodes here, since my adoring fans probably can read as well as hear.

In this week's fabulous and riveting episode of Gastrologica, I have a brief introduction with a new NPR style format while peeling shrimp. There is a lot of water noise in the background from the faucet, sorry for that.

Dan joins me in segment two (after sitting in traffic for a couple of hours) and we move head-on into making a hearty cioppino. Even though I slowed my voice down to 55, I realize the ingredient list may be overwhelming to some:

4 large garlic cloves
2 bay leaf
1 teaspoon dried oregano
1 1/2 teaspoons sea salt
1/2 teaspoon black pepper
1/4 cup olive oil
1 green bell pepper
1 teaspoon dried hot red pepper flakes
2 tablespoons tomato paste
1 1/2 cups dry red wine
1 can whole plum tomatoes
1 cup bottled clam juice
1 cup chicken broth
1 lb of crab, however you like it
18 small clams, make sure they are alive (I didn't) and clean them (I didn't)
1 lb white fish of some sort, cod, halibut, snapper
1 lb large shrimp 16-20 count.
3/4 lb sea scallops
1/4 cup finely chopped parsley, fresh, for the love of Christ
3 tablespoons basil, chopped fine
Enough sourdough to choke a hippo.

Hopefully that helps. Don't let the amount of ingredients intimidate you, this is a very simple preparation.

If you do take a shot at making this, email us as gastroguys (gmail) and let us know how it turned out.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

A Day Without Traffic

This is a food site, not a political site. Yet...

Nobody that I've talked to has decried the contributions that immigrants have made to this country. America IS immigrants (are?). Ok, America be immigrants.

Especially in contributions to food and the work they do in commercial kitchens. With few exceptions, America is the place where you can find more diverse and varied foods than anywhere else in the world. We embrace immigration, as all but a few of us are from somewhere else.

But the rallies in LA and around the country hit a wrong note. The selfish sense of entitlement, and the brash notion that those who circumvented the system are now entitled to citizenship and all the benefits thereof, has created a justified backlash.

I am from the "Don't Bite The Hand That Feeds You" belief. While I understand the motivation of the people boycotting yesterday, flexing their economic muscle, it sent the wrong message. What most people got out of it was "We will cause economic damage until our demands are met." Furthermore, it was quickly turned into a semi-racial protest, as if Americans are against all immigrants, or that we just don't like brown skin. This was a patent distortion perpetrated by the March 25th Coalition.

Absolutely nobody derides (primarily Mexican) immigrants for wanting to flee to America. We all understand why. Yet, borders are important because they establish a nation's sovereignty, and control the population going in and out of that country. Countries, believe it or not, are allowed to enforce their borders. Any other country but America would be overlooked for wanting to do this, yet the rest of the world seems to look at America like we're a big amusement park, our border a turnstile, and our sovereignty a mere suggestion.

There are Indians, Koreans, Chinese, Cubans, you name it, who wait years to come into this country, and it is simply not fair to grant wholesale amnesty to people who cheated the system. Nobody is denying the contribution to the society, but nobody can ignore the burden they place on the same.

I know this is going to sound harsh, but the point of having an immigration policy is that our government is entitled to be able to pick and choose it's citizens and workers. Coming to America is a privilege, not a right granted to Planet Earth. There is a lottery system open to anyone who wants to come here, and there is a parallel system of vetting people who will substantively contribute to our economy. This country needs more qualified engineers and doctors, we simply don't need any more farmers or day laborers.

In fact, as the population of unskilled workers (their term, not mine) increases, unemployment increases. There are simply not enough jobs for the stampede of illegals, and unemployment breeds discontent and ultimately crime. This isn't a gross generalization, it is simple economics. A certain portion of the illegal population will turn to crime, gangs and other means necessary to earn a living.

Because we are America, we have policies that protect non-citizens more than any other country in the world. Yet people trash us for wanting to stem the tide of illegal immegration. The problem is simple: the system cannot handle 12 to 20 million new citizens all at one time. That's like 20 million babies being born at once. It will crush our infrastructure, education system and economy.

The real solution, and I'm speaking only of the Mexicans now, is to fight, protest, take up arms, do whatever is necessary to change the government of Mexico. It is not America's fault. It is the corrupt, unchecked, elite and government class of Mexico that has raped the people systematically for the last 100 years. Once that is achieved, and Mexico can thrive, there won't be a need to flee. Oh, and guess who enforces it's southern border with federal troops? Of course. Mexico has some of the strictest border policies with its own southern border, heaven forbid a Guatamalan wants to migrate north into Mexico.

It is a tough prospect, I know. But everyone is looking to America's compassionate policy to bail them out, meanwhile Vincente Fox is encouraging Mexicans to come to America. It eases the poverty burden on him, and he knows that much of the cash paid under the table to illegals is sent back to his country, bolstering his economy with American dollars. If we do not confront this issue now we will become Mexico, a country by Mexicans' own admission, is so antithetical to properity and happiness, they are willing to leave their families to come to a foreign land.

What did we learn in LA yesterday? If all the illegal immigrants were gone, traffic alone would improve 10 fold. A commute that usually takes me an hour took only 20 minutes yesterday. That's what people saw. Ok, back to food, and let's not forget, Cinco de Mayo is this Friday.

Monday, May 01, 2006

Conspicuous Consumption Under Fire

The well-documented foie gras ban of Chicago has brought luxury food items into the public discussion. California has promised to ban the importation of foie gras in 2012, which means I'll need to stock up and freeze as much prized liver as I can.

A new front in the war against luxury. This battlefield is no less than the existence of wild caviar. Yes, well, I know, banning these luxury items won't exactly resonate with the general consuming public, but the most precarious slippery slopes are those that are adopted to affect the smallest [richest] segment of the population, then grow unchecked to ultimately affect a wide audience, the middle class.

Fair argument, who cares if a few of the filthiest rich are deprived of their opulent luxuries that are usually produced in the cruelest ways? Because that's the camel's nose in the tent. PETA and other conservation and activist groups will chip away at our eating habits by attacking the most vulnerable of them first. Foie gras, caviar, monkey's brains are all fringe foods that are enjoyed by a very select population. Wait until they start banning veal, tenderloin and chickens.

With each sucessive wave of 'cruelty free food', the food they attack will become more mainstream, affecting a larger class of people. While it is hard to make a rational case to not save Caspian sturgeon from extinction, just wait until they begin talking about banning all meat...only then, they will have precedent on their side.